Valentine’s Day in the digital realm: Indeed, nearly everything has transformed

This narrative was initially published on Feb. 13, 2019.

As Valentine’s Day approaches, affection is supposed to be palpable. Or is it? With countless Americans utilizing online romance and purchasing, could a day set aside for love and exchanging gifts be considered antiquated?

“Fewer individuals might actually be commemorating Valentine’s Day with a partner,” stated Julie Albright, a lecturer at the USC Dornsife College of Letters, Arts and Sciences and a specialist in relationship dynamics and online romance. “Younger digital natives are far less inclined to be in a relationship nowadays due to the multitude of options available to them via dating apps and social media.”

Albright observes that psychologists define this phenomenon as “choice overload” — with an increase in options, individuals find it harder to make any selection at all — and that 65 percent of high school students have never actually been in a relationship.

“Interestingly, while young people now have more chances than ever to connect with that special individual, they are less inclined to commit,” she noted.

Valentine’s Day in the era of technology: When parting ways isn’t difficult

Choice overload might not be the sole barrier to enduring relationships.

“Dating applications and technology have converted courtship into a game,” stated Karen North, director of the Annenberg Program on Online Communities at the USC Annenberg School for Communication and Journalism. “It’s a connection game, and rather than breaking up, it’s more about abandoning individuals.

“Individuals now partake in practices that would have breached social norms in the past; there are no repercussions as they are not dating friends of friends or relatives.

“A new lexicon has emerged for discussing romance and breakups due to social media: ‘cushioning,’ ‘ghosting,’ and ‘zombieing.’ Some algorithms allow individuals to peek into each other’s lives and engage across various platforms. They’ll employ tactics and strategies to cease dating while maintaining contact on social media. They’ll ‘like’ or comment on a post to either entice someone or drive them nuts.

So express what you desire, what you truly, truly desire

For those who have successfully maneuvered the online dating landscape and found themselves in a couple, choosing the perfect Valentine’s Day present presents its own unique hurdles.

“A Valentine’s Day gift carries significant emotional weight,” stated Lars Perner, a scholar in consumer behavior and holiday shopping, and assistant professor of clinical marketing at the USC Marshall School of Business.

“For the individual giving the gift, there may be anxiety regarding what to select. They want to ensure the message is right and demonstrate an understanding of their Valentine’s desires – not just practically, but in terms of knowing the other person. A gift may be seen as more meaningful if thoughtful consideration has been given.

“For the recipient, there is a tendency to analyze the gift to discern if there’s an underlying message. For couples who have been together for a while, there might be hopes or anticipations of a marriage proposal. Some individuals may interpret signs in gifts that may or may not be intended.”

Valentine’s Day in the realm of technology: Avoid leaving your Valentine in suspense

Another expert suggestion: refrain from hinting at the surprise.

“When we are informed in advance about a surprise, it becomes challenging for us not to engage in wishful thinking, which can lead to disappointment,” stated Eva Buechel, assistant professor of marketing at USC Marshall and a specialist in the psychological processes influencing consumer assessments, choices, and behaviors.

If you simply surprise someone with a box of chocolates, they feel more joy than if you first announce that a surprise is coming.

Eva Buechel

“My findings have indicated that if you just present someone with a box of chocolates, they are more content than if you previously inform them about an impending surprise.

“Moreover, people tend to believe that receiving a substantial gift will bring them more joy than a smaller one. However, research reveals that it’s the essence of the gift, independent of its size, that fosters happiness.

“We have demonstrated that individuals feel equally as elated winning $1 compared to winning $20. Presenting someone even the most modest Valentine can lead to significant increases in happiness.”

Ultimately, it truly is the thought that matters.